Crucial Conversations- Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

Review From User :

Dear Goodreads:

A 'crucial conversation' is one that
1) opinions vary
2) stakes are high
3) parties involved have strong emotions.

Sound familiar What we have at Goodreads is a Crucial Conversation.

Ways you don't succeed in a crucial conversation:

1) Allowing your emotion to dictate your dialogue. Specifically, an emotional need to "win" or be "right."
2) Believe the answer is the "fool's choice" of a yes/no, right/left solution.

Ringing any bells I can't state what the emotions of GR staff are right now, but they can't be positive ones. And we've all witnessed how official 'my way or the highway' belief in a new, unbroadcast Terms of Service is resulting in a notable downtick in GR activity.

The authors of Crucial Conversations did a lot of studies discovering that people who are skilled at dialoguing during crucial conversations:

1) start with the heart, otherwise known as the self, by knowing what they want
2) they avoid the 'fool's choice' of the either/or solution and look for the 'and'
3) they are smart enough to clarify and know what they don't want
4) they ask their brain to try and solve the harder problem--which means the 'and' one, not the gut response one
5) they note what their behavior says, so that their body language/actions are in congruence with their words, thus lending believability to their words

My Dear, dear Goodreads Customer Service, try this.

I suggest you take these principles to heart. Know what you want. Do you want to 'win' Do you want certain people to leave the site Do you want a book-selling synergistic Kindle machine Do you want to keep the hard-working librarians and reviewers who built this site material active and involved Once you've asked these questions, you then need to ask if your body language and interactions are reflecting these goals.


The authors state to set up a crucial conversation, the parties involved need to make it safe. What do you do when the conversation isn't going well and a party is acting defensively You make it safe by:

1) Step out of the conversation
2) Determine what condition of safety is at risk A mutual purpose or mutual respect
3) Apologize if it is appropriate
4) Using contrasting skills to help fix misunderstandings, such as "I didn't intend to mean ___," then explain what you did intend/meant.
5) Create a mutual purpose

This is how you can fix the exodus of mass numbers of librarians, reviewers, and most importantly, readers who are leaving your site.

The crucial part of this list is, of course, the conversation.





Note: I will add a genuine analytical review at another site when I finish. It really is an excellent book that I recommend to everyone. There's a few ethical and social limitations to it, but it does help have a high-stakes conversation and succeed.


Media Size : 2 MB

DOWNLOAD PDF